there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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