I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Two words: blizzard sex
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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