its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
