Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize