did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's blow job season.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize