Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
