I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
