i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
