I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
