You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
