I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
