I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
