Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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