He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
