if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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