sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize