If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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