apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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