At least make sure they are 18
Why
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There's always time for handjobs
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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