Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
