she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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