Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize