I just made out with a guy for $7.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
