I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
