he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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