I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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