Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
