Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
