I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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