you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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