can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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