All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
