they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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