That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize