Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
