She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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