would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
