She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I need to calm my uterus...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize