He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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