no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
