How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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