i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
