a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
