The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wish my penis had a tongue
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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