I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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