We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
