youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
