in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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