they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
