Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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