I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
