I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
