Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
