So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize