You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
