IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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