we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
