There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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