Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize