I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
