maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize