Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
