I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Swine flu is the new snow day.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
