so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Found the puke drawer
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
