ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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