so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
