she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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