Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
