ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
