I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Your cock deserves a montage
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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