Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
