So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
