I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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