What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
