yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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