yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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