So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
