I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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