I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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