Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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