I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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