I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
