three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
