Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm always down for nudity.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize