in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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