My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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