Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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