Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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