we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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