I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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