I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize